For example, I had an inventor friend who created a big shoe with a phone in the heel. He thought he could now use a phone whenever he wanted, and made several more for the house. One day, an emergency came up and he needed a phone. Would you believe it? He couldn't find a single phone boot.

The innovations at last November’s IAAPA, however, were more successful. They were also very derivative: Modern incarnations of old time rides.

Take Airballs, for example, by Skytrack. Using an inclined plane and levitation like that in an air hockey game, it is based on a larger-than-life pinball tabl. The seated riders are launched into the attraction with impressive acceleration, and then glide through. The rider even has control over two flippers that can send the seat back into the ride. But the concept is not new.

Old timers may remember that the same gliding on air sensation was found on the short-lived Flying Saucers, a ride introduced by Arrow Development at Disneyland in 1955. Inclined plane rides are even older. Celeron Park in Jamestown, New York, was among several long-gone parks that operated the Tickler around the turn of the last century. Tickler riders stood in barrels mounted on casters and pinballed their way down a slope filled with obstacles.

Remember the old Allen Herschell Looper, an idea later picked up by Chance as the Rok n Rol? Knoebel’s Amusement Park in Elysburg, Pennsylvania, still operates a Herschell Looper, in which riders can use a foot pedal and clutch to turn themselves upside-down as they circle horizontally. Reminiscent of this ride, but with an undulating rather than flat circular platform, Chance Morgan has now introduced Down Force, an attraction that uses the seat developed for its new Unicoaster. One is expected to operate soon.

Uphill water slide coasters are increasingly popular too. First introduced by NBGS International as the water jet-powered Master Blaster, Whitewater West and ProSlide followed with a conveyor belt providing the lift. I’ve enjoyed all three. Now ProSlide has a new version, the Hydromagnetic Rocket, using LIM motors to catapult a raft uphill, an inspired use of LIM technology. The first is at the Great Wolf Resort at Kings Island, Ohio. A second recently opened in Australia, and a third will soon open soon in Korea.

Finally, a word about the device I’m shown sitting on in the photo. Yes, it’s a motorised toilet on wheels. It’s actually the battery-powered Go Racer, a bathroom-themed go-kart from the Evento Company, which I saw at IAAPA. What better way to go than on a Go Racer? I will resist the temptation to stoop to any further banal potty humour; you deserve better. Which reminds me, do you know why most people prefer mashed potatoes to pea soup? Because anyone can mash potatoes…

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